Wednesday, 16 March 2016

Important Bra Man Bins T-Shirt Collection

An important bra man has announced his decision to bin five million quids worth of fancy t-shirts, it has emerged. The binning is to constitute a protest about things not being as good as they were back in the old days when everything was better than it is now, not least the Sex Pistols who haven't made a decent record since 1978, and even that one was really bad. The important bra man, noted for being knicker-designing spawn of some bloke who failed to discover the next Bay City Rollers and Margaret Thatcher from an alternate universe in which she rose to fame by making a pair of trousers with the words fuck and off daringly printed down consecutive legs rather than by shitting all over the working classes, opined yesterday that the pop hit parade charts are shit and that his dangerous revolutionary dad would be ashamed of us with our Taylor Swift and stars churned out like processed peas on episodes of the X-Files. 'Many of the t-shirts are rare collector's editions made by our mam,' he explained. 'One of them has got a picture of Charles Manson's cock on it, which is very dangerous and subversive because it challenges our preconceptions, and because no-one knows it's Charles Manson's cock, and they think it's probably just some normal penis. It would be worth a mint on eBay.' Nevertheless, despite his collection being worth a packet, the millionaire bra man has made a decision to bravely and daringly chuck the lot, he explained at an international press conference yesterday, or possibly the day before.

So that's us told.

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